|on May 21, 2012 at 4:35 pm||filed under Living Your Dreams, Mindful communications, personal growth|
A time of for authentic communication
Much has been written about the May 20, 2012 Solar Eclipse and New Moon concurrence. One of the best things I read was from astrologist Heidi Rose Robbins. In her “Welcoming Gemini; Hello Love” newsletter she said of this time:
“This is a threshold time for building bridges, getting your message out, connecting in goodwill and revealing the love that underlies everything. ”
It’s never been a better time to be your authentic self and to share the messages, wisdom, ideas, and love for others you are here to communicate. Sounds simple and yet so many people have have their true voice, their authentic powerful presence socialized out of them.
What silences us
So how do we step up and get seen and HEARD?
My father was a great one for repeating those old sayings like “Children should be seen and not heard.” There’s probably dozens of variations of this thought being socialized into children and adults as I write this: “It’s better to be seen than heard,” “Keep your voice down,” “You don’t want to call attention to yourself,” “Act like a lady…a little gentleman,” “Don’t be a loud mouth,” and so forth.
The main problem is that generally, when you’re not heard, you’re not seen either! Without a voice your are not a whole person. Without your own voice someone else is putting words in your mouth or projecting their image on you about who you are and what you stand for.
Being your authentic best means expressing yourself in a responsible way that is clear and has the intention of good outcomes.
Five questions that clarify what you have to say
1. What needs to be said and are you the person to say it? Activists daily decide that something needs to be said and that they will step up and say it and make it known to a larger audience. On a personal level you may have a thought or opinion that keeps circling your brain that you aren’t saying.Whether you have a message or thought that needs to expressed publicly or more privately, be clear:
- What is it exactly that you want to say?
- Who needs to hear it?
- Why? What is the result you hope for?
2. What has meaning to you right now? Personal growth, connection to others, evolution of consciousness, health of the planet, being authentic, creative play, physical achievements, parenting, healing, business focus, etc. You can’t feel satisfaction as a whole expressive human being, if you aren’t clear about what matters. You can’t live and communicate with meaning if you’re not sure what has meaning to you.
3. What are you here in this lifetime to communicate? Is there a theme, a specific concept or message you are on planet earth to deliver? It could be a one-to-one message you express through your daily interactions like: “Smile!” or “Thank you.” It might be a larger theme around awareness like “What you notice matters!” or around compassion like what Mother Teresa communicated through her daily deeds.
What you’re here to communicate might be related to the power of the mind, our hearts, the body or one’s soul. What messages seem to come up time and time again for you? What learning lessons have you gotten that you might share with others. LD Thompson says that we all have a life curriculum that we come to our lives with. I may get lessons that make me an expert on expectations and beliefs. While you have had many lessons related to the wisdom of the body or related to the value of being different.
4. Do you have a limiting belief…or two… around communication? I recently realized that like many women I had fallen into the “good girl” trap. While there are lots of rewards and validation for this role, it can severely limit one’s authentic voice. If you were shushed a lot as a kid, you might have a belief that it’s not proper to make noise or to be loud and proud. You might be afraid of how you’ll be seen or judged by others. That can certainly dampen your ability to let your authentic voice shine.
Other people fall into the perfection trap. If you’re worried about making a mistake, it’s likely your missing out on the perfection that can flow from a sense of wonder in the moment and from your intuition, which can only be accessed when your open to saying the unrehearsed.
5. What percentage of you is authentically communicating on a daily basis? 50 percent? 75 percent? I’m not talking about saying every unfiltered thing that jumps into your mind. I’m referring here to not editing yourself based on fears and worries related to your limiting beliefs and socialization. For instance, I’ve been finding that I want to have a more activist voice on Facebook, but I found myself worrying about stepping out of my self imposed box of inspiring others with upbeat quotes and pretty pictures. What would people say if I got more edgy in my communications? I love the inspirational material and I don’t want to hide behind that if I have a strong opinion about something that matters to me. So I’m balancing those aspects of myself. I’m questioning where and how I can make a positive difference. What about you?
How to turn up your authentic self volume
As you answer these questions, note any actions you might take related to being more vocal and more in alignment with your values. Consider how you might be more expressive. It’s never too late to speak up, speak out, express your essence and shine. Some ideas include:
- Singing lessons or join a choir
- join a Toastmasters club
- Write a blog or newsletter
- Sign up for an art class
- Register for an acting class
- Be more active on a social network
- Take on a leadership role
- Initiate conversations with strangers
- Meditate so you can hear your inner voice
You matter, and your authentic voice matters. Don’t let the negative voices drown out all the good there is to say and express. The world needs you to chime in and it could make all the difference to living the dream!
Melissa Wadsworth is a Certified Dream Coach, author and speaker. She guides women in midlife through changes and challenges so that they get unblocked and live their true brilliance. Sign up for her complementary 11-day video course “Living the Life of Your Dreams Through Clarity” at http://www.melissawadsworth.com.