We all do it from time to time: harshly judge ourselves, beat ourselves up over a decision or a reaction, something we did or didn't do. Seattle process coach Cathy Breshears says that regret is fine as long as you experience it and then let it go. When you hold on to it you block emotion and create a boundary to self-love.

"Acceptance is the healing balm," says Breshears. "Life is a learning process in which we do the best we can with the tools we have. When you attack yourself you've let the conditioned mind take over. You're not allowing yourself to feel the grief of the loss associated with your action. So many adults are uncomfortable with feeling grief."

And, what about guilt? Breshears claims that it's not even an emotion. "It's like gas that hits up against emotion. That's why it hurts. Guilt doesn't like love so you must get rid of and it's as easy as burping."

Easy if you understand how to compassionately process yourself through the experience. As Cathy explains, process coaching is listening to the emotions with a mind that asks: "What can I do to help?" Often, our minds are telling our emotions what to do and how to behave. Cathy works with clients from three to five sessions to teach them how to heal themselves and get back to self-love. This personal transformation typically involves going through a four-statement judgement release process that gets you unstuck and moving forward.

Breshears states, "When you act from love you don't need directives and morals. When you self-love you love others and act lovingly. It doesn't mean we don't make mistakes, we just don't need to hold on to them. We need to practice forgiving ourselves and others."

Breshears also emphasizes that we don't have to hold the emotions of the entire universe -- all the grief and love lost. This is not our duty. We're here to heal our own grief so we can help others. As she states, "Emotions are like water. They are suppose to be moving."

You can learn more about process coaching at www.processcoaching.com/Cathy. Attend Cathy's "Introduction to Process Coaching" presentation at the Veda bookstore in Kirkland, WA March 29th from 1-3pm cathy@processcoaching.com. Reservation required.

Imagination is the bride between you conscious and unconscious mind. If you want to learn how you can use dream boards and other visualization techniques to align your emotions with your dreams and desires, enroll for my online workshop beginning March 3, "Picture Your Life with Radiant Confidence and Momentum."

Have you been there lately? I'm refereing to that wonderfully magical state of being in which nothing feels impossible. You work joyfully. You feel like you are expressing to the world your most authentic and best self. There's no sense of grasping toward something. Rather there's the blissful sense of progressing with free-flowing unblocked energy. There's no anxiousness about when you'll reach your goal. Just curiosity, for you know you'll experience your goal at exactly the right moment.

Hopefully, this sounds familiar. The difficulty, for many, is not attaining this blissful zone but maintaining the mental and emotional states that keep you there. It's like the old Mel Brooks movie scene. "I'm in, I'm out, in, out, in, out.."

Here are few tips that I use to flow back into my zone:

1. Glance at your dream board or boards. There's always one particular picture (maybe not the same one each time) that will make me smile and remind me of the joyful path I'm on. It's like being on a favorite road trip and coming upon beautiful scenery that fills your senses with immediate peace and heightened appreciation. This also brings you back to the present where you can appreciate the moment you're living.
   
   
2. Quickly create an intuitive dream board. In a half hour you will have quieted the doubts, worries or fears in your mind and replaced them with thoughts and feelings of wonder and of curiosity at what you have created and what messages can be gleaned from your personal vision. Remember, we're always powerful and peaceful at our core. Intuitive dream boards can show you this quite literally.
   
   
3. Ask yourself what you are grasping after and then release this tension. Be honest with yourself. Face your doubts and the mental judger in your head. Then set the intention to think and act more positively, even a little more so. This will help you build faith in your goal and belief in yourself to attain it.
   
   
4. Get clarity about an important goal. Make a list of all the things that you want for the particular goal that is making you doubtful or anxious. For instance, a friend has decided that she wants a part time financial position in Connecticut rather than a full- time position in New York City. I suggested that she list all the components of her vision for that dream position. How many miles it will be from her home, the hours she'll work, what her co-workers will be like, their management styles, how much she is making, etc. It's like describing your perfect work day in detail. Clarity always makes us feel more peaceful and pointed in the right direction.
   
   
5. Develop belief that the universe has it's own way of making things happen. When I was sitting in my apartment in Philadelphia wondering how I was going to get from that room to a home in California, I couldn't imagine how that reality would happen. Yet, I knew that it would and that it was ok not to know HOW in that moment. Don't fret and overwork yourself to make something happen. Keep your energy light, loving and expansive.

Dream board by Dominique Hurley, Canada

Dream boards and vision collages can help you get clarity around what is important now, not in the past! Discover how by taking a look at my ebook which describes10 different dream board formats, including Gratitude Boards and Taking Stock Dream Boards:Picture Your Life and Manifest Your Desires with more Clarity, Focus & Success.

"Unless you firmly establish your emotional center in the midst of a new condition, you remain psychologically outside it although within it. If you're not yet dwelling within it from your own spiritual center, you'll neither take full advantage of the situation nor behave in the most centered and powerful ways."

Marianne Williamson, The Gift of Change

Women Embracing Change "Act Don't React" Seminar Event
Tuesday, March, 25, 2008. 6:00 - 9:30pm.
Four presentations around health, wealth, and success including my "What You Notice Matters! talk about the importance of mindful awareness to centered and powerful action


Get Unstuck and Get Clarity On Your Life Path breakfast talk
April 11, 2008, 7:30 - 9:00am
Harbor Club, Bellevue, Washington

Melissa Wadsworth is a self-help author, inspirational speaker and dream mentor. Through her writing, presentations and seminars, she emphasizes the vital importance of wide-awake living and mindful communications to a fulfilling and successful life path.

If you wish to use any of the articles from this issue in your own electronic newsletter or ezine please include the following paragraph:

Reprinted from What You Notice Matters! a complementary ezine from conscious living expert Melissa Wadsworth. Interviews and articles deliver inspiration and tips for achieving personal and professional abundance through awareness.