Last night I went to a singing lesson. I didn’t exactly realize I was going to a singing lesson;I thought it was a chanting and singing group. But, nope it was a real singing lesson.

The surprise and awkwardness of newness

When you don't sing like Sting

The last time I was part of any structured singing lesson was in eight grade choir when I was twelve. I’m fifty, you do the math. So, this felt like stepping into new territory – and a little like I had opened the wrong door. I had to let myself be vulnerable and awkward. I had to accept that I didn’t really know what I was doing and be in the moment. I had to be a beginner. The personal growth devotee in me accepted this challenge.

Mental Messaging Madness

Yet, something else very interesting was happening, too. As the night progressed I kept hearing negative messages pop up in my head LOUD and CLEAR. These were messages that had been planted eons ago and reinforced over the years without me realizing what I had been doing. There was a whole big messy bag of messages around singing that I had only vaguely realized existed. Obviously they had been lying right under the surface of my conscious mind ready to speak up at the first opportunity.

These mental messages broadcast something like this:

• “What are you doing in a singing class?”
• “You can’t hold the sound of notes in your mind long enough to sing on key.”
• “You’re going to throw off that woman singing next to you.”
• “Everyone is going to wonder why you’re in a singing class.”
• “You know you can’t sing harmony!”
• “Singing soprano is out of your range. It’s too hard to sing soprano” (whaa-whaa)
• “Singing isn’t one of your strengths.”

I was both astounded by the barrage of negative thoughts arising and amused. Here was what I thought of as an “unimportant” area of my Self and my life. And yet I had all kinds of negative thoughts fully formed around singing. This made me realize how sneaky negative thinking is. We are socialized to believe that it’s OK to think negative things about some of our capabilities. We grow up thinking: “I good at writing, and not so good at singing.” “I’m an okay drawer,” “I stink at math.”

Recognizing your talents without down-grading your interests

On one level it’s good to know one’s strengths and talents. On another level the question must be asked: Why can’t we realize our strengths without denigrating our abilities in other areas? Why can’t I be a great writer without having to be a lousy singer? Can’t I just be a person who loves to sing instead? Why do I have to rate myself on every skill and interest? But that’s what we all do.

Since we don’t make such subtle distinctions as we grow up, we don’t even realize the extent to which negative programming has occurred.

We make judgment after judgment about ourselves and about others until this “good” and “bad” classification habit is so ingrained that it happens without even thinking. I obviously thought, “It’s perfectly alright to tell myself that I’m only a so-so tone-deaf singer.” So I did it for years — any time someone asks me to sing or a singing type situation arises. It should be no surprise that it becomes another subconscious auto-pilot setting that’s running. This happens even when we think it’s not about something important.

The danger of mindlessly programming your auto-pilot

As I learned last evening, such auto-pilot settings can operate in the background for years. It’s only when we endeavor to try something that runs counter to the programming that we awaken the habitual programmed thoughts. We may be a little or a lot surprised at the fierceness and power of these negative thought-message packages. I learned with abundant clarity that no negative thought is “harmless.” Each has the ability to degrade self-esteem and confidence.

What I noticed is that it’s important to keep challenging your subconscious programming. You can do this in three easy steps.

1. Keep trying new things. By trying new things you stimulate new neural pathways in the brain, and challenge old thinking. You learn that being perfect is not the point. You realize that learning new things takes courage and that’s always a great feeling to develop. For instance: If you think you’re lousy at languages, give it a shot anyways and plan a trip so you can use the new language. You’ll probably get such positive reinforcement from appreciative foreigners that you’ll see you language ability in a whole new light.

2. Pay attention when you’re attracted to something new or different. I wondered what energetic forces had called me to this singing lesson. “Voice” messages had been coming through many of my intuitive dream boards, which was why I was trying out this class in the first place. I wanted to discover what I could learn about how to use my voice more effectively. I was curious to find out what difference exploring my voice in new ways could make. I didn’t anticipate this particular lesson, but it’s a juicy one. When you pay attention to what calls to you, there’s usually a good lesson you need to process for your benefit or a positive experience to learn from.

3. When you stumble into a mess of old mental messages…LAUGH! I could have let the old messages get the better of me (not that they didn’t bring up some associated feelings), but fortunately I found the humor in the situation. Yes, the Universe does work in mysterious ways. By examining these old messages in a new light, you can take the sting out of them. You can consciously decide to release the old messages and to hold new positive thoughts in their place. It’s a good thing to uncover a pile of thoughts that don’t serve you and to transcend them with new actions that are in alignment with your personal growth and expansion.

Keep living with attention, intuition and vision!

Melissa Wadsworth is an author, inspirational speaker, and creative personal growth guide, specializing in intuitive dream boards.