Each person has life events that call on them to transcend limiting thoughts and beliefs, overcome tragedy and persevere to reveal their radiant Self despite tough challenges.

How we respond to such potential life-changing events or circumstances determines whether we are victor or victim.

We each have fearlessness written into our divine essence. Karna Sundby, who is an inspiring life coach through her Inner Access business, has overcome major life tragedies to turn sorrow into personal, emotional and spiritual growth and wisdom. The “fearless” living and potential of all women will be celebrated at the Fearless Women Day- Seattle event this coming August 26th. Read her story and respond with your own story or nominate someone you feel has exhibited their own brand of fearless living.

As Told by Karna Sundby

The 2 toughest times in my life were the sudden tragic deaths of people I loved. Now I can see how the greatest challenges were the greatest gifts because they made me who I am today. One catapulted me into my spiritual search. The other led me to the work I’m passionate about today. People who make it through to the other side of their fears and obstacles often want to help other people do the same. There’s something so meaningful and healing when you’re able to help another on their journey of becoming fearless.

From High-Flying Adventure to Devastation

The first life-changing event occurred when I was in college in the skydiving club at the University of Montana. There were only two women in that club back in 1970, my friend Judy and I and we were living life, thoroughly enjoying the attention of all these fun-loving skydiving men! One day another girl skydiver came to town and the 3 of us agreed to make a jump together, making it the first time three females would be in free-fall over the state of Montana.

We planned our historic jump for Nov 1st – homecoming week-end. The night before was Halloween and I partied way too much. For some reason I took my phone off the hook and fell into bed. I awoke the next morning with a feeling of dread. I had overslept and let my girlfriends down.

I later heard that they’d waited and waited for me. As I rushed out to the airport to try to catch them, they took off without me. In an absolutely clear blue sky their plane collided with another aircraft and my girlfriends died. I kept thinking if only something had happened to change the timing of things. What if someone had stopped to go to the bathroom? What if someone had paused to tie their boot? What if I had been there, like I said I would be? Would they be alive? Would I be dead?

Finding Answers

These questions haunted me and ultimately altered my life course. I changed my college major to comparative religion and began searching for the meaning of life and the answers to my questions. Three years later I found my spiritual teacher in a young boy from India. I learned a meditative practice which connected me to the inner peace I was seeking; a practice I still do today.

I was so grateful to find this inner peace experience that I dedicated the next 15 years to living an extremely focused spiritual life. I took vows of poverty and celibacy. I spent years traveling on behalf of my teacher all over Europe, parts of Asia and the Middle East – talking to groups of people about paths to inner peace. I carried all my earthly possessions in two suitcases.

Back to the “Real World”

At 36 I decided to come back to the states and enter “the real world” again. It was difficult finding a job without many marketable skills, learning to live a normal life. I hadn’t had a date since I was 21 years old, so I had lots to learn about relationships. I kissed a few toads before I finally moved to Seattle and met the man I thought was the prince who would marry me and take care of me for the rest of my life.

A Second Tragedy

I was so happy. I’d just landed a brilliant job with a Fortune 500 company, we were living in a cozy little beach house and I thought I had the happiest relationship of anyone I knew. Then, one November evening I came home from work and found my fiancé dead. He had ended his life, probably because (unbeknownst to me) he had just lost his job. I could almost hear the sound of my future shattering as the medics carried him away. I turned my wedding vows into his eulogy. Then with the support of family and friends, counseling and a deep spiritual foundation, made it through that very tough time.

These two tragic episodes have been the toughest times in my life. Yet, when I look back from the vantage point of my wonderful life now, I feel that they were also gifts that made me who I am today. One was the catalyst for my spiritual awakening, and the other led me to my life work which I’m so passionate about. I believe that from the most difficult times, we sometimes learn our greatest life lessons.

The Gift of Life Lessons Learned

These are eight significant lessons I learned:

• I learned to feel all my emotions without fear and move through them. That journey can take you to experiencing more depth and strength than you have ever known.

• I learned that it’s not so much what happens to you in life that makes all the difference, it’s what you do with what your experience that counts. Learning and growing is what matters.

• I learned that time does not heal all wounds for all people. At meetings of Survivors of Suicide I met people who 15 to 20 years after the suicide tragedy were still feeling the pain, were still stuck in the role of being a victim, were still clinging to their excuse for not living fully. Time alone doesn’t heal. It’s how you consciously use the time that makes the difference.

• I learned that when you really want help and truly ask for help, it will come. The Universe responded to my request and all I needed to do was to have my eyes, ears and my heart open to recognize the help that I was being guided toward. When you reach for help, people care and they respond.

• I learned that tragedy can lead to deep compassion. My experiences put me in touch with the pain of humanity and a depth of compassion that I’d never felt before. I don’t think I would have arrived at such compassion without going through my own dark night of the soul.

• I learned that the path to healing is a profound journey of becoming fearless. Healing can be completely transformative and take us so far beyond just surviving.

• I learned that Life itself is so precious and that all the ways in which we grow are such gifts. My experiences with unexpected death helped bring meaning to my life and changed my whole perspective on death.

• I learned that taking what you learn from life-changing events and making a difference in others’ lives is important. I now help others not merely survive their challenges, but to learn from them and thrive.

Fearless Women Day – Seattle, August 26th

This August 26th the Fearless Women Day – Seattle event will benefit the Women’s Funding Alliance. The event will feature the music of Gypsy Soul and a “Permission to be Fabulous, Fearless and Free” presentation by Debrena Jackson Gandy. For more information visit: http://www.fearlesswomendayseattle.com.