I’ve noticed that there are leaders, teachers, experts and assorted wise people who possess a beautiful quality that is as honest as it is refreshing to experience. That quality is the humility and confidence to say “I don’t know.”

This seems to flow from a particularly feminine energy, whether you’re hearing it from a man or a woman. It has an inherent graceful acceptance about it. I so appreciate this wonderful openness in people I listen to, learn from and work with. It’s so real and I can relate to those three words simply.

In the very masculine past decade or two or three, you didn’t hear many leaders admitting mistakes, taking responsibility or saying “I don’t know.” This transcended professions and was evident in leaders across business and politics. What you heard instead was: “I’m the expert, I’m the best in this field, I know more than anyone else and you should listen to me. Trust me.”

Now, I must admit that, historically, I have had a rather strong distrust of authority figures to begin with. One whiff of “know-it-all-ness,” exaggerating the truth, or hiding behind a persona and I’m likely to exit the office, the conference room, the teleseminar, or the book as quickly as I can.

Notice the paradigm shift in process
I cannot express my relief and joy at realizing that a paradigm shift is occurring in regards to how leading experts, instructors, trainers and professionals are presenting themselves in regards to their knowledge.

We see it in President Obama. He will admit when he has taken an action not adequately considered, when he has misspoken or said something that has offended. Then he simply apologizes. What grace! This allows us all to move on to more important thoughts and actions — to what matters. It’s only those who cling to the practice of getting hung up or getting stuck, who want more to get hung up and stuck about: “What do you mean ’sorry,’ I’m not ready to let you go there yet! I have much more [emptiness] to say!”

I led a teleseminar call for my Golden Potential Manifesting Group last week and this topic of admitting when we don’t know something came up. We’re socialized to believe that we must admit no weaknesses, especially when we take on leadership roles — from head of household to company head. And, not having all the answers has certainly been deemed a weakness in the recent past. Yet, a new truth is arising. Acknowledging that we don’t “know it all” gives others permission to say that they don’t have all the answers either this very minute and that it’s OK.

Notice the relationship between not knowing and openness to possibility
There’s something so empowering in that soulful spoken “shrug.” There’s freedom in it. When we give a soulful spoken shrug we lighten up, we get humble, we get real, we lead by inspiring example. The other thing we do when we say “I don’t know” is open ourselves to grace and possibility. We invite in answers that will be much richer and extraordinary than if we tried to fake or bluff an answer, or tried to pretend there is only one answer, which leads us nowhere really.

In this age of self-reinvention and finding our soulful paths, this permission to acknowledge our “don’t know it all” status is critical. In doing so, we actually open up to receiving more direct knowledge. We give ourselves over to practice graceful RECEIVING. We say “I don’t know,” and ask others for their opinions and insights. We say “I don’t know” and ask the Universe: “So what more can I know? Please direct me and show me.” That positions us beautifully to receive that which we need to know from surprising and inspired sources and resources.

Notice when you release yourself from perfection
I’m meeting more and more entrepreneurs, women in midlife and everyday struggling seekers who can say “I don’t know,” because they realize that there really is no end to their path of learning and realization. This releases them from needing to be perfect, which, of course, is neither necessary nor desirable in most cases. I once had someone tell me that, as a speaker, you only had to know one thing that the audience would find helpful and that was enough. That has given me permission to get up in front of audiences and feel radiantly connected. I know that just being myself, being present is enough. What a relief!

By showing that we have the courage to admit we don’t have all the answers, even all the answers in our field of expertise, we can radiate acceptance — acceptance of self and acceptance of our truth in the Now.

That’s the perfect place to find oneself. In Buddhism they call that “the beginner’s mind.” I think of it as being in flow. You aren’t fighting some unseen current, you aren’t trying to be other than who and what you are, you aren’t judging how you’re suppose to be or how others should be, you are lightheartedly in flow with what is.

I was in a class this weekend and the teacher admitted that she didn’t know as much as she’d like about one of the class subjects. She even admitted that she could have looked in to it a bit more before class but had not. She apologized for this. And what was the reaction? Ease, acceptance and laughter. Several class attendees told what they knew about the topic. The more they spoke, the more the instructor realized how really little she knew on that subject. One student laughed and said she would do some research on the subject and she and the instructor could compare notes next week. I loved that!

I can see how some people might think under similar circumstances: “Hey, I paid for this class, and the instructor should have all the curriculum answers.” Yet instructors and “experts” are human. They have their own interests, the points of focus they like to concentrate on, the knowledge that really lights them up. If we can get even a small percentage of what really excites them, then we are lucky “receivers.”

Notice when you have the grace to receive
This paradigm shift has much to do primarily with having the grace to receive. To really accept the nature of what is being given, rather than judge what is not. Last night I went to a devotional chanting concert featuring Krishna Das. He said that people often asked him what the Sanskrit words mean. He laughs and answers: “I don’t know. That’s why I keep singing them.” He keeps singing them so the truth of the words become illuminated for him and that’s different from knowing the literal meaning.

As this paradigm shift unfolds, we’re being invited to experience what true knowledge is and that’s so much more satisfying and enlightening than having to have an answer, any answer right now!

I happily look for people with the courage to say “I don’t know.” These are people I’m excited to listen to. I’m happy to practice saying it myself knowing that I will be in harmony with people who are willing to practice patience in allowing true knowledge to unfold and to sit non-judgmentally as the answers reveal themselves.

Are you willing to say “I don’t know” or to listen to someone who says “I don’t know?”